The Core Rules

  • Don’t explain. Explanations become ammunition.
  • Don’t defend. Defense implies their accusation matters.
  • Don’t emote. Emotion feeds the behavior.
  • Don’t correct their narrative. They are not seeking truth.

The Only Tone That Works

  • Calm
  • Brief
  • Boring
  • Unreactive

Think HR email, not conversation.

What to Say (Templates)

  • “That doesn’t work for me.”
  • “I’ve made my decision.”
  • “We’ll stick to the agreed process.”
  • “I’m not discussing that.”
  • “Please put that in writing.”
  • “This conversation is no longer productive.”

Then stop talking.

What They Want vs. What You Give

They Want You Give
Control Boundaries
Reaction Neutrality
Engagement Closure
Power Predictability

The Mental Reframe (Critical)

  • You are managing behavior, not resolving conflict.
  • Winning is ending the exchange, not changing them.
  • Silence after a boundary is not weakness—it’s enforcement.

The Exit Rule

Once you’ve stated a boundary once:

  • Repeating it = negotiation
  • Arguing it = validation
  • Explaining it = surrender

State → Pause → Disengage.